I did not get the chance to watch the Oscars live with champagne and appetizers and besties. I do not have cable because Melody and I do nothing but watch Gilmore Girls on the tube. Additionally, I was in the normal Sunday night routine of frantically doing schoolwork last minute and hoping that Monday morning would decide to just chill out and not arrive.
However, like the Super Bowl, the Emmys, and the Pope giving everyone the “peace out” hand signal, Facebook, Twitter, YouTube and Google were able to bring me up to date on everything noteworthy that happened. After scanning the videos, the headlines and the endless photos of bejewelled actresses cloaked in suggestive glitter I came up with some conclusions.
And it turns out conclusions= BLOG POST. So. Here it goes.
Katie’s 2013 Oscar Conclusions (There’s only 4 so go ahead and read through em)
1) Jennifer Lawrence is the absolute bomb.com. She’s funny, she’s real, she’s effortlessly gorgeous and she knows that a good shot of liquor can help ease the nerves of walking into a room full of probing journalists plotting your demise (because that’s what we do sometimes). Watching the video of her falling on the way to her award and then watching the press hound her about it made me realize that’s who I would be if I happened to be the kind of person picked as Bradley Cooper’s love interest in an award-winning film.
“Yeah…I fell on purpose!” “Why did I fall? LOOK AT THIS DRESS!” “Sorry…I took a shot before this” *giggles* “Do I worry that I peaked too early? Well now I AM WORRIED!” Hollywood needs more Jennifer Lawrences. We are all human. Girls dressed as fluffy swans and flushed with shock and champagne are extremely likely to fall while vertically ascending a velvet staircase to receive a life-defining award. There’s no need for the globe to gasp in unison. Save that for Channing Tatum tossing his slacks in the air in Magic Mike.
2) If Seth Macfarlane is picked to host the Oscars, OF COURSE he is going to gleefully sing about Hollywood’s beautiful ladies doing the naked tango in a sleu of memorable movies. Did you see Ted? Have you watched an episode of Family Guy? This comedian was not going to use his televised spotlight moment to stand before the ritziest societal group in the world and make innocent Brady Brunch knee-slappers. He was out to receive some choice words. He’s a professional offender.
3)Tina and Amy should host absolutely everything anyway.
4) What is the point of the Oscars again?